Did you miss our last Mops meeting? Are you constantly wondering what being a better wife/spouse would look like? Look no further! Our November 6th meeting was filled with questions and answers as our Men’s Panel bravely gathered in a room full of 60+ women. You do the math, that’s about 120+ ears listening to what they had to say:-) No pressure!
Brian Wallace; Pastor of Spiritual Development & Life Groups Austin Ridge Bee Cave firstname.lastname@example.org http://www.lovedperson.com ,TJ Morelli; Pastor of Men’s and Business Ministry Austin Ridge Bee Cave email@example.com , Mark Adams; Campus Pastor Austin Ridge Southwest Campus and Phillip Williams; Pastor of Care Ministries Austin Ridge Bee Cave firstname.lastname@example.org made up our panel of Christian Men answering our very own questions about marriage, family and parenting.
Mops momma and steering team Activities Coordinator, Missy Harris, was our emcee for the panel. Her first question was:
What does a good wife look like?
- Remember that all wives/relationships are unique
- no such thing as a “perfect package” – you and your spouse each have a past that must be considered
- 2 examples of things that are desirable in a wife
- A faithful relationship with Jesus (one that is steady through all times).
- Being committed to the kids and with an optomistic outlook
What can we do to make our husband’s feel respected?
- Simply have to respect him – seeking Jesus at all times
- Be encouraging
- Be real and actual with your spouse; don’t take responsibility for how he feels
What advice/wisdom can you provide for getting through the pre-school years?
- Remember that you are not going to ‘screw’ your kids lives up – they are already sinners
- Mark stated, “We cannot thwart what God is going to do in their lives.”
- It’s ok to not always give in to our kids and give them what they want
- Establish a date night out (maybe plan a sitter ‘trade’ with another couple)
- Create a habit of making your relationship ‘front and center’
- Laugh with one another and shy away from being enemies
Are there any ‘trigger’ words that wives should steer clear of during a fight?
- Recognize your part in the disagreement and OWN it
- When saying ‘sorry’, do not use the “but if” phrase
- Be willing to confess, own your attitude and actions
- It can be dangerous to use the phrases “you’re always” or “you’re never”, these could indicate a rut in your relationship and could be dangerous
A wife needs love and a husband needs respect like they need air to breathe- Emerson Eggerichs Author of Love and Respect
- Brian Wallace referenced Emerson Eggerich’s book ‘Love and Respect’ and what he calls the “Crazy Cycle”:
- If a husband doesn’t show love for his wife for who she is, she reacts negatively in ways that show a lack of respect for him.
- Hurt by that lack of respect, he then reacts by even less love for her.
How can we help our spouses through hard financial times?
- Men often times struggle with their work being their identity, remind your spouse that this is not the case
- Encourage him to wrap himself around Christ
- Be willing to live unafraid, this mindset can be helpful to your husband
What clues can we give our husbands to just listen and not try to ‘fix’ our issues?
- Remind, remind, remind!
- Most of the time, men do not know how to ‘fix’ our problems. Simply reminding your husband that you just want to vent will relieve his sense of pressure to give you an answer to your problem.
What do you expect when you get home from work?
- It’s wise to have a goal of ‘no expectations’
- Men like to be noticed and made to feel like a part of the family unit
The panel discussion was certainly enlightening and brought forth many good reminders for us mom’s on how to juggle our role as wife, mommy and our love for Christ all at the same time. A BIG thank you to these four brave men for being open and vulnerable with our group.
Other meeting news:
Our next meeting should not be missed! Shellie Deringer founder of Saving with Shellie, will be talking to us on November 20th about how to reconcile our post baby budgets allowing for the holiday expenditures. She will be giving us tips on how to buy designer brands for less;-)